


raison d’être

by andtheny



Series: Five is a problem solver [6]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Ben Hargreeves Deserves Better, Ben Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Catharsis Ending, Dysfunctional Family, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Drama, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Ghost Ben Hargreeves, Hopeful Ending, Hubris, Number Five | The Boy Needs A Hug, Number Five | The Boy-centric, POV Alternating, POV Ben Hargreeves, POV Number Five | The Boy, Protective Ben Hargreeves, Stressed Number Five | The Boy, Thirteen year old Five, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:01:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28259652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andtheny/pseuds/andtheny
Summary: "I'm not stupid," Five said. "You're lying to me. All of you.""Five-""It's simple," Five continued. "Tell me what happened and when. Then I can fix it.""It's not simple, actually.""We've got time on our side!" Five insisted. "Or I do, at least. Help me or don't. I'll fix the problem all the same. Whatever it is."___________________Or, the Hargreeves hate time travel. Five doesn't understand why.
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy & Ben Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Grace Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & The Hargreeves (Umbrella Academy)
Series: Five is a problem solver [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1977970
Comments: 122
Kudos: 286





	1. All the time in the world

_A thinker sees his own actions as experiments and questions as attempts to find out something. Success and failure are for him answers above all._

_― Friedrich Nietzsche_

His only proof was the weather, really. Five noted the clearer sky that came with his first jump. The greener leaves. 

But the difference was too subtle. Five jumped forward again and was pleased by the snow covered streets. Maybe he should have stopped there, but he was emboldened by the adrenaline rush of success and in no hurry to return home. 

_Time is on my side_ , Five thought, _Dad's got nothing on me._

So he jumped forward a third time. Then a fourth. 

Five was disappointed by the cars, which looked basically the same, and by the buildings which likewise remained as they had been in 2002. Five doubted himself for a second. Had he just been using spatial jumps this whole time? Tricked by his own optimism?

But jumping through time felt palpably different from space in a way he couldn’t quite explain to himself.

And there had been snow. 

Five decided he would jump again in search of more snowy weather, but when he tried nothing happened. He was out of energy. 

Well. There would be plenty of time to experiment.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


His preoccupation with time travel led him to neglect his surroundings. When he finally decided he should go back to the Academy, Five realized he wasn’t sure exactly how to get there. He’d never gone out on his own before. And maybe the streets _were_ different now. Everything was unfamiliar. 

Then again, dear old Dad didn’t exactly take them out on field trips. Only missions. The rest of the time, they stayed home. 

Finally a police car rolled to a stop beside him. “You lost, kid?” 

Five scowled. “Just a bit turned around.” 

“Come on then.” He opened the passenger side door. “We’ll sort it out.” 

Five hesitated.

“I know it’s annoying,” the officer said. “But you’re too young to be out on your own.” 

“Says who?” Five said. 

“Says me. C’mon Five, just get in the car.” 

Five blinked. “You know me?”

“Course I do,” the officer grinned. “You’re famous, little man.” 

Of course he was famous. He was part of the Umbrella Academy. Five forced himself to relax and got in the car. 

“Little man?” Five scoffed. “I don’t appreciate your tone, officer.” 

“Sorry, sorry.” The man cleared his throat and softened his smile. “So you’re on foot today? Finally lost your car privileges?” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Five said. “I don’t know how well acquainted you are with the scope of my abilities, but-”

“Everyone at the station is _very_ well acquainted, don’t you worry, son.” 

He had been prepared to inform the officer that the Five he was familiar with wasn’t necessarily the same as the boy before him, but now he huffed in annoyance. It seemed he hadn’t traveled as far into the future as he would have liked.

“How old do you think I am?” Five said instead. 

He was a decent height for thirteen. Not as tall as Luther, but not as stunted as Ben. He could probably pass for older than he was. 

“Aren’t you fourteen or so?” The man squinted at him. “Can’t be older than fourteen.” 

Maybe he’d just gone a year forward. Two or three at best. It was disappointing, but still a success. Dad didn’t think he’d be able to time travel in the first place, but Five had proven him wrong. That was all that mattered. 

“Did I get it right?” The officer asked.

“Sure,” Five said, absently. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Instead of taking Five home, the officer dropped him off at the police station. “Beaman will get you sorted,” he said. “Just ask for him at the front desk.” 

Well alright. 

Beaman turned out to be a harried man in khakis. Bald, with a trim beard and glasses, he seemed like a gentle sort. But he glared at Five when he spotted him.

“You can’t keep doing this to me, Five,” Beaman said. “I can’t take it.”

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean,” Five said. 

Beaman sighed. “You can make all the arguments you want about Montana or wherever, but we’re in _New York._ You have to be sixteen before you can apply for a learner’s permit.” 

The clues clicked in his mind like puzzle pieces and Five grinned. It made sense, he decided, that he would be a prodigy in _all_ things. Even something as mundane as driving. 

“Sorry officer,” Five said. “Guess I just like to jump the gun.” 

The man blinked. “Detective,” he corrected. 

“Of course,” Five said. “Detective. But I wasn’t driving today.” 

“You were on foot? Where were you going?” 

Five stuffed his hands into his pockets. “Nowhere in particular. Just out for a stroll.”

“A stroll?” Detective Beaman was incredulous. “Officer Castillo said he found you out by Prospect West.” 

Five wished he knew street names. Was that a street name? Was it far from the Academy? He'd been walking for hours in his attempt to get home, growing frustrated when the sun went down overhead. 

Maybe he'd been walking in the wrong direction.

"I just got a bit turned around."

“We’ve got a group chat dedicated to you, you know that?" Beaman continued. "Because we promised Diego we’d keep your record clean, but we still have to deal with you.”

“A group what?” Then Five registered the name. “Do you mean Diego Hargreeves?” 

Beaman looked as confused as Five felt. “Yeah? Your brother.” 

“What does _my_ record have to do with _him_?” 

Beaman rubbed a hand over his face. “Look, I know you don’t think it’s fair, but the law is plain. Your brother is an adult. You aren’t. That automatically puts him in the role of guardian. Him and all your older brothers.”

 _Older_ brothers?

“I see,” Five said. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The simple fact of the matter was, Five didn’t like looking incompetent. He worded all of his questions carefully so that Beaman wouldn’t take notice that anything was amiss.

Of course there was a part of him that wanted to blurt out for the world to hear: I time traveled! I _did_ it. 

Yet the facts, as he received them, clued him in to a growing suspicion that Dad must have had some reason for his warnings. The old fool may have coated them in fear mongering exaggerations, but Five had to give credit where credit was due. The man did nothing without _purpose_. 

So Five had time traveled and came out the other end with a sound mind and body. Dad had been wrong about that. 

And _yet_ there was something significant here that was not adding up. Something that had gone wrong. Whatever year it was, it was far enough into the future that his siblings had reached adulthood. As far as the police force knew, there was only one exception. 

Five himself had fallen behind. How? Why? He couldn’t work it out.

It also became clear that Reginald Hargreeves was dead. Perhaps of natural causes; he _was_ old enough, wasn’t he? Being the only minor in the family had left the Five of this time in his brother's custody. 

Beaman said Diego would come for him and then directed Five towards a chair in the station's lobby. Five noted, with some irritation, that Beaman’s desk was well within view. The man kept a sharp eye on Five, like he thought his charge would hatch a grand escape. 

Whatever. Five had more important things to worry about. 

Perhaps, he reasoned, the young Five these police officers were familiar with wasn’t actually native to this point in time. It would make a sort of sense if, having succeeded once, Five made a habit of traveling into the future. 

He felt himself warm up to the theory. _Of course_ he would do that. Five wanted to wield his power as much as possible. Wanted to perfect every angle of his abilities.

For instance he hadn’t been able to _feel_ the span of years the same way he felt distance in a spatial jump. Was one jump six years or six months? He’d blinked forward randomly. With no control.

The only thing he'd been certain of was a vague feeling of _forward._ He'd jumped with the unshakable belief that he was traveling toward the future.

Five needed more practice. 

And practice he would get. Then these police officers, nosy good samaritans that they were, would be there in _Five's_ future. But a nearby future, not his adulthood.

All they would see was an unaccompanied minor. An inconvenient technicality. Perhaps an obstacle. Five studied Detective Beaman. Committed him to memory.

It made sense that Diego hadn’t clarified matters to the cops. Dad always said it was best to avoid unnecessary confusion when it came to the law. So there was definitely an adult Five, out there somewhere, that these police officers had never met. Maybe _that_ Five had left the city, tired of running into his young doppelganger. 

Five was preoccupied with these thoughts, but he kept an eye on every civilian that walked by and wondered if he'd recognize his brother when he saw him. 

When a particularly conspicuous man first strode into the station Five didn't think much of him. The guy stood out in a bad way with his grungy patchwork of black leather. That combined with the scar on his head made him look like the shady sort of criminal the Academy dealt with on a regular basis.

But Five accidentally made eye contact and the man beelined toward him.

Five stood up.

“Five, you son of a bitch!" The man threw his arms around Five in an exuberant hug. "I can't believe you did it!" 

Thrown by the show of affection, Five failed to formulate a response. 

Not that it mattered. The guy kept right on blabbering. "And after all that shit you said." He laughed and lifted Five clean off his feet, squeezing tightly. "When we got back from the sixties you gave us this whole lecture about the fragility of the timeline and- and damn! I never would have- I mean, Ben's pissed at you, by the way, but I-"

Five teleported a few feet to the left, to free himself from the embrace. "Don't man handle me."

This was supposed to be Diego? His personality seemed closer to Klaus. Just like Klaus he kept right on talking, unbothered by Five's attitude.

"Look, before anyone can give you any grief I just want to say I appreciate you…" He glanced uneasily at Beaman, who was subtly glowering at them. "You know, doing what you did." The man put his hands on Five's shoulders and leaned in, forcing prolonged eye contact. "I'm grateful, alright?" 

"I'm going to need more context." Five took a small step back, shrugging off the hands. "What did I do, exactly?" 

If anything, _congratulations_ were in order, not gratitude. It was clear that this man was not impressed or surprised to see a version of Five that was years out of place. It confirmed the theory. 

"I saw Patch." A broad grin. As if that was supposed to mean something. 

This _was_ one of his brothers, right? It had seemed obvious, but maybe this was another police detective. It wouldn't hurt to double check.

"Okay, hold on," Five said. "Let me see your tattoo."

He expected the guy would object, or at least be offended, but instead he readily rolled back his sleeve to reveal the Umbrella Academy tattoo. "Is something supposed to be wrong with it?" He said. "Did you try to change it?" 

Whichever brother was besides the point, Five decided. This man was family and that was good enough for Five. 

"I don't know what you're talking about," Five said. "But- oh. Hello." 

A small woman had trailed in behind Mr. Grabby Hands. She smiled at Five. "You can give us the details when we get home okay? Everyone has… questions." 

He squinted at her for a second and then grinned. "Vanya."

She tilted her head. "Yeah?" 

"I knew it was you." He wondered if it would be inappropriate to hug her. Probably, she hadn't initiated contact. "I like your hair." 

"Um, thank you?" She glanced at Diego/Klaus, who shrugged. "Listen-"

"Take the kid home already!" The detective called from his desk. "It's getting late!" 

"Yeah, thanks Beaman," His brother called back. "I'll see you later!"

Putting an arm around Five's shoulder (this was _definitely_ Klaus) the man led him and Vanya out of the station and ushered them into a car. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


"Diego." Vanya had taken a seat in the back. "Didn't you have something else you wanted to say?" 

Oh. This was really Diego? Good thing he hadn't asked. Probably would have offended him to be compared to Klaus. 

Five glanced back at her and raised an eyebrow, but she was frowning sternly at the back of Diego's head. 

"I said I was grateful." Diego kept his eyes on the road, grip firm on the wheel. "It counts." 

"Those are definitely kind words," Vanya agreed. "But I think I remember you promising something a little stronger." 

Five frowned at her. He didn’t like all this confusion. When Vanya finally made eye contact she quietly mouthed _wait for it._

"I didn't promise shit," Diego grumbled.

Then he glanced at Five. "Uh, if someone wanted to buy you a gift do you have anything in particular you've been wanting?" 

Five tilted his head. "Are we talking hypothetically?" 

Vanya laughed. "He's talking literally." 

"Fine, yeah, I'm talking literally," Diego groaned. "I know asking defeats the whole point, but I don't know what to get you." 

"Hmm." Was it for a holiday? Birthday? "What month is it?" 

"September, why?" Diego snorted. "You losing track?" 

"You'd think it would be important for a time traveler to know when he was going," Vanya said with clear amusement. 

Five scowled. It was true that he'd made the trip with no clear destination, but he thought that was reasonable for his first time. 

They didn't know this was his first, though. His pride made him reluctant to clarify.

"Getting ready for the group birthday, I see," Five said. "Hey, how old are you guys turning this year?" 

He tried to infuse nonchalance into his tone, make it sound like the usual sort of small talk rather than admit that he had no idea what year he was in. 

"We're finally hitting thirty," Diego said. "Though it's kind of a technicality, at this point. We're all out of sync." 

"Oh man," Vanya said. "Am I the youngest? Is everyone else already thirty one or what? Wait no, Klaus has to be thirty two or so." 

Five blinked. 

"Yep, you're the youngest," Diego said. "And I'm the second youngest." 

"I still don't know how to feel about it," Vanya said. 

There was no way to ask without revealing his ignorance, but the curiosity was killing him, "How did you get out of sync?"

"We landed a few years apart, remember? In the sixties.” Vanya reached over to feel his forehead. “Hey, are you feeling alright? You’ve been kind of-”

“You're saying the _whole family_ time traveled,” Five said. “To the 1960s?” 

They reached a red light, so Diego turned fully towards him. “Are you going senile?” 

“No, you idiot,” Five growled. “ _Look_ at me. Isn’t it obvious? My experiences aren’t exactly chronological.” 

Diego studied him. 

“The light is green,” Vanya said.

Diego continued driving. “I don’t know what you’re trying to get at, man.” 

“You would if you were smarter.” Five didn’t have the patience to break it down. He turned back to Vanya, who was still hovering with her hand over him. Like she wanted to feel his forehead _again_. “Now let me get it straight.” 

She looked seriously worried. “Are you having memory problems?” 

“No,” Five said. “So how did you guys do it? Did Dad find a way to harness my power? Was it for a mission-”

“ _You’re_ the one that took us!” Diego said. “Just grabbed us and dragged us back.” 

“No kidding! With _all_ of you?” He never thought he’d be able to stretch his abilities that far. And without technological enhancements? The future sure was looking bright. “That’s amazing. So if I wanted to I could take any of you back to 2002 with me?” 

Vanya was getting pale. “Five,” she murmured. “How old are you?” 

“Thirteen,” he said. “Why, don’t I look it?” 

Diego swore. “What the fuck!” 

“You’re from 2002?” Vanya said. 

“Jesus fucking christ,” Diego said. “We’re so stupid.” 

“Yes, you are,” Five said. “Though I figured you guys have seen me make this kind of jump before, so-” 

“Maybe we should go to my place,” Vanya said. “It’s bad if he runs into himself, right?” 

“Call Luther,” Diego said. “Ask him if the other Five went home.” 

She scrambled to comply.

“Why is it bad if I run into myself?” Five said. 

“I can’t believe we forgot his first jump to 2019,” Diego said. “Goddammit, time travel is so confusing!” 

“Hey, Luther?” Vanya said. “We ran into a bit of a problem.” 

She was speaking into a phone, presumably, but it looked weird. A thin rectangle. Made of glass or something. 

Is that all the future had to show for itself? Weird phones? 

"We did find him, but…" Vanya bit her lip. "It's… I mean, it looks like he's the _younger_ Five." 

Diego shook his head. "Unbe- fucking- lievable." 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Five didn't see what the big deal was. Apparently there was a type of illness that afflicted time travelers in close proximity to their past or future selves. 

It sounded like another one of Dad's fear mongering exaggerations, but Five humored their concern. 

Also, he thought it was impressive that Vanya had her own apartment. 

Diego dropped them off and peeled away, saying something about the public library. The older Five was presumed to be there, though the place was long past closing.

Vanya chatterer nervously as she let him into her apartment. "We were going to eat dinner together today. We were just waiting for you." 

"The older me." 

"Yeah." Vanya turned the lights on. "So, um, it's not much. I don't have a guest bedroom or anything, but you can borrow the couch." 

Five nodded, taking in their surroundings. It was a small place, but it had a cozy feel to it. There was sheet music on a table, books with cracks on the spines on her bookshelf. 

The bookshelves at the Academy were pristine. Books were displayed for show and Dad got prissy if Five tried to actually read them. Fancy first editions. Expensive vintage collections.

_Stick to the assigned reading if you would, Number Five._

"I figure the inter- the dinner, um, that it's canceled now," Vanya continued. "Do you want a flutter nutter sandwich?"

He grinned. "You have marshmallows?" 

"Of course." 

"Wow." He shifted closer to her and tried to figure out which of them was taller. But they were basically tied. "I guess some things never change." 

She nodded. "Hey Five?" 

"Yeah?" 

"Can I give you a hug?" 

He shrugged. "You don't have to ask." 

She hugged him, but not the way he was used to. It was a light touch, more like her arms were hovering than grabbing him. 

Vanya's arms were trembling slightly. Fluttering like the curtains on her windows.

There was something oddly fragile about it. Five put his own arms around her and gave a firm squeeze. 

A book fell off the shelf behind them and he startled. Vanya sprang back. "Sorry!" 

She bent to pick it up. "Um, I'll go make that sandwich." 

"Alright," Five said. "I'll close the window."

He warped over to it and realized the window was already closed. 

"Huh," Five said. "I thought the wind-" 

"I have super powers," Vanya blurted. 

He looked at her. 

"It's a long story," she added.

He laughed lightheartedly. "I've got all the time in the world." 

She laughed too. "I guess you do, huh?" 

He warped into a casual sitting position on a nearby couch. "So powers huh? When did that happen?" 

"I found out right after Dad died…" 


	2. I love you too, Ben

_Listen to all the conversations of our world, between nations as well as between individuals. They are, for the most part, dialogues of the deaf._

_― Paul Tournier_

“I’m surprised you didn’t shell out for a second car,” Diego said. “Though I guess a hermit like you wouldn’t need one, huh?”

Diego had a tendency to say hurtful things when he was stressed. Ben understood that, but wished he would lay off Luther. Diego wasn’t being fair. 

“Five doesn’t use the car that often either,” Luther said. 

Ben was sitting in the back of Diego's car, which they were using because the family car was missing. Klaus hadn’t come with them, so all he could do was listen and cringe to himself as Diego kept trying to pick a fight. 

At least Luther was keeping a cool head.

“He goes out every week!” Diego said. “He takes Klaus to NA, he goes to the library, and if Vanya wants to go anywhere-”

“Okay,” Luther said. “He uses the car more than I do.” 

“Luther drives Mom to the grocery store way more often than Five does,” Ben said. “And if Klaus needs a ride anywhere on any day that _isn’t_ Saturday, Luther is the one who-”

“You only drive when Allison is in town,” Diego said. “Seriously, bro, you need to get a life.” 

It was useless to talk to them, but it had become a habit.

“It’s the other terminal,” Luther said. “Drive past and take a left.”

They were picking Allison up from the airport. Diego scowled, but he followed the directions.

“You’re just like Vanya these days,” Diego said. “Aren’t you going to defend yourself?!” 

“I think they’ve learned that getting mad just makes you angrier, dude,” Ben said. 

“We shouldn’t be fighting right now,” Luther said. “Five needs our help and we-”

“He’s _d-dead_ ,” Diego snapped. “The sooner we give it up-”

“He’s not dead,” Luther said. “He’s just missing.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


It had been three days since the younger Five had shown up from 2002. And it had been three days since they’d seen _their_ Five. The one that looked identical to the thirteen year old in every way, but who had lived a long and hard life. The Five that had saved them from the apocalypse.

“What if they’re both the same person?” Allison said. “Like, when the new Five showed up they merged or something?” 

They were having another family meeting. Everyone was present but Vanya, who had been put in charge of babysitting Five. 

“I don’t think that’s how it works,” Luther said. “In the sixties both Fives were still separate from each other. I was with them both at the same time.” 

Klaus had manifested Ben for the meeting, but he couldn’t think of anything to say. He could only sit here, uselessly glowing, aware of his time ticking away. 

“What if he has amnesia?” Klaus said. “Like, the cosmic universe realized his tragic backstory doesn’t exist anymore? So he got reset?” 

That was an unsettling thought, but it made a weird sort of sense. “The apocalypse doesn’t happen,” Ben said, slowly. “So Five doesn’t have to live like he did, so it never happened to him, so now he’s thirteen again… oh man.”

He’d finally said something, but Ben frowned to himself when he realized that he'd basically just repeated what Klaus had already said. 

“But if Five doesn’t live in the apocalypse he’ll never go _back_ to prevent it,” Diego said. “Which means it’s going to happen, which means we’re all fucked?” 

“I hate time travel!” Klaus said. 

“Okay, but it’s also possible that the older Five is still around, right?” Ben said. “Luther, you said there was some kind of side effect when he got near his old man self?” 

At least he could direct the conversation a little. That was helpful, wasn’t it?

“Paradox Psychosis,” Luther said. “It made him crazy. Like sweaty and itchy and… and really, uh, angry.” 

“Sounds fake, but okay,” Klaus said. 

Diego snorted. “That’s what Five said.” 

“How _is_ he, by the way?” Allison said. 

Diego shrugged. “He’s fine. Vanya’s got him covered.” 

“Wait a minute,” Ben said. “We know the old Five is still around because the family car is still missing! That’s proof isn’t it?” 

No one reacted to his epiphany. Ben looked at Klaus, whose hands were no longer glowing.

“ _Sorry_ ,” Klaus whispered. 

"I think Five must have found out that his younger self was here," Luther said. "And just, you know, just… left." 

Ben sighed. "Tell them to report the car stolen. If it turns out it got abandoned somewhere then maybe-"

"Or he poofed while he was driving to the library," Diego said. "Maybe the car crashed into some poor sap and got towed or something." 

"Klaus, tell them to report it." Ben tried to get his words out quickly. "But also to check the junk yards and-"

"Wait, is the family car gone?" Allison demanded. 

"Uh, Ben is trying to say something," Klaus said.

"Sorry, Ben," she said. "But this is the first I'm hearing about the missing car. Why did you leave that out, Luther?" 

"I didn't mean to leave it out," Luther said.

"He just got _deleted_ ," Diego said. "His whole life. Gone." 

"Five wasn't deleted," Luther said. "We're going to find him. We just need to work together." 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


On the fourth day they decided it was safe to let young Five back into the Academy, since old Five was still AWOL.

“Worst case scenario,” Klaus said. “The old bastard shows up and you’re in charge of whisking the youngling back to your apartment. Even if they see each other for a teensie weensie second, we figure it won’t kill them.” 

Vanya frowned. “But I have lessons to teach today,” she said. “I was fine watching him for the weekend, but I thought-” 

“I resent being referred to in the third person,” Five said. “As if I’m not _right here._ ” 

“Sorry,” Vanya said. “It’s just hard-”

“And I don’t need to be _watched,_ ” Five said. “Anyway, if that paradox sickness really is an issue, I trust my older self won’t show his face around here until I’ve left.” 

Ben winced. “Does he know yet? Ask Vanya-”

“A’course he won’t!” Klaus said. “Our Five is a smart cookie. Yes. He. _Is._ ” 

Klaus began using exaggeratedly cutesie baby talk from the moment Five walked through the door. It had already earned him a swift kick the shin, but he kept doing it anyway. 

This time Five waited until Klaus actually had the nerve to pinch his cheeks. Then he sucker punched Klaus in the gut. 

Klaus buckled. “Love... you too... buddy,” he wheezed. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Hi,” Allison said, gently. “How are you? I’m Allison.” 

Everyone was reacting differently to the young Five. Klaus had his baby jokes, but Allison took the opposite approach. Speaking carefully, as if to a terminally ill child. 

“Of course you’re Allison,” Five said. “I’m young, not blind.” 

Klaus cackled. “Oh man, he’s got a point, sis!” 

She lost her smile for a second, but then it was back up. “Okay, haha,” she chirped. “Joke’s on me.” 

Five shrugged. “Not to be racially insensitive,” he drawled. “But it really is obvious.” 

“Oh _man_ ,” Klaus said. “I forgot how savage he could be!” 

Ben draped himself over Klaus’s back, gently pushing through his skin. It activated his body’s natural defense mechanism against possession, creating a subtle bit of static.

Klaus flinched at the shock and glared at him.

“Be nice,” Ben said.

Klaus stuck out his tongue. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Diego and Luther were combing the city for the other Five, so it was just Klaus and Allison at home with young Five. 

Well, and Mom. 

“Welcome home, Five.” She greeted him with a broad smile. “I hope you’re hungry. I’m making chicken parmesan for lunch.” 

Ben took note of the way Five seemed to relax in her presence. The best thing about being invisible was that he could stare at Five and examine his posture, the set of his jaw, his entire expression. 

“That sounds good,” Five said. “Thanks.” 

With Klaus and Allison, Five had been on the defensive, Ben realized. Not so with Mom. 

It was just the two of them in the kitchen. Allison had dragged Klaus into another room, so they could whisper together about Five. 

“So Mom,” Five said. “Is Pogo still around? I know Dad is dead.”

Oh no. 

“KLAUS!” Ben called. 

“I’m afraid he’s no longer with us,” Mom said. 

“KLAUS GET IN HERE!” 

“How did they die?” Five said. “Vanya didn’t want to give me the details.” 

Mom was nonchalantly bustling about the kitchen. She didn’t answer right away and Ben wondered if she was trying to decide how to break it to him. She’d always been tactful, but never dishonest. 

He wondered if Klaus was close enough to hear him. Should he run out to find him? 

But Ben couldn't bring himself to leave.

“They were old, dear,” Mom said. “It was their time.” 

_Holy shit_ , Ben thought. _Did mom just_ _lie_ _?_

“Who died first?” Five said. 

No, she had dodged the question. 

“KLAUS, PLEASE!” Ben called again. What if Mom told Five about _his_ death?! She could be as tactful as she wanted. Avoid the when and the how, but it would still be a fact that he was dead. He was _dead._

“Your father died first,” Mom said. “It was hard on Pogo. He thought the world of him.” 

Five teleported so that he was sitting on the counter. 

“Very funny, mister,” Mom said. “You know that’s not allowed.”

“Why?” Five said. “Dad’s dead.” 

He stood on the counter so that he could tower over her and smirked. “The rules are moot now, aren’t they?” 

Ben was transfixed. How would Mom react? 

She reached up and cupped Five’s face in her hands. “Darling, I know you must be frustrated.” 

Five frowned. “I’m not frustrated.” 

“It would make sense if you were,” Mom said. “And I want you to know that I don’t mind if you take it out on me.” 

Five blinked. He shook his head, dislodging her hand. “No, I-”

“Sweetie,” Mom spoke with the same gentleness that Allison had attempted. But from Mom, it sounded more genuine. “Did you get stuck?” 

There was a shine to his eyes (unshed tears?) but Five blinked rapidly and shook his head. Ben watched Five’s walls go back up, oddly fascinated by the transformation. The way Five gritted his teeth, set his shoulders, straightened his posture.

“I am not stuck,” Five said.

“It’s okay,” Mom said. “It’s a minor setback. Like when you were little and you couldn’t figure out how to control where your spatial jumps would take you. With perseverance and patience, you figured it out.” 

“I’ll figure out the time jumps too,” Five said. 

“I know you will.” Mom took a step back. “Please get off the counter. Your shoes are dirty.” 

Five vanished and reappeared at the table, sitting with his hands in his lap, looking contrite. 

Mom pulled cleaning supplies out from under the sink and wiped down the spot where he had been standing. 

“I can’t move backward in time,” Five blurted. “It’s like there’s something blocking me.” 

Mom hummed. “But you can go forward?” 

“Yes,” he said. “Though I haven’t since I realized I can’t go backward.”

Mom nodded. “It would only strand you further in the future.” 

“Exactly.” 

“ _Well._ ” She pulled out a chair and sat across from him. “In the meantime, you’ve got a home with us.” 

“I _know_ that.” Five pursed his lips. He leaned across the table and lowered his voice. “Hey, so…”

Five hesitated. 

If Ben had a heartbeat, it would be hammering in his ears. He was on the edge of his seat, going crazy with anxiety. In that moment Ben desperately wished he could tell Mom not to mention him. Why hadn’t they thought of that before letting Five come home? 

“Yes?” Mom prompted. 

“That whole thing with Vanya,” Five said. “Her secret powers.” 

“Your father did what he thought was best.” 

Five rolled his eyes. “Uh huh. Look, what I want to know is: are there any other family secrets that I should be made aware of?” 

Ben groaned.

“No, Five,” Mom said. “I don’t think so.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Allison, Five, and Klaus sat down together for lunch. They ate in agonizing silence for a good ten minutes. 

Then Five said, "Put a tape on, or something." 

"What?" Allison said. 

"If we're gonna act like the old rules still apply," Five looked at his food as he spoke. "Then we might as well put Herr Carlson back on." 

" _Gag_ ," Klaus said. "I'd rather lick a cheese grater." 

"We don't do that anymore," Allison said. 

"Then what _do_ you do?" Five said. "Vanya told me the Umbrella Academy disbanded years ago." 

"I'm an actress now," Allison said. "Hey, do you want to watch one of my movies when we're done eating?" 

Five squinted at her.

"That could be fun!" Klaus said. "I vote for the one where they put you in that wheelchair." 

"Fine," Five said. "Whatever." 

Klaus hooted. 

"Wasn't Allison in a musical once?" Ben said. "Can you ask her?" 

"Ben wa-" Klaus started, then cut himself off with a wince. 

"Don't say I'm the one asking!" Ben said.

Five zeroed in on the slip up. "What about Ben?" 

"Tell him I'm on the moon or something!" Ben said. 

Allison looked at Klaus with wide eyes. 

"Uh, Ben is on the moon," Klaus said. 

_"What?"_ Five said. "Seriously?" 

"Yup, he became an astronaut!" Allison jumped in. "He's been up there for four years now." 

"What would he do up there for so long?" Five said. "It's a barren hunk of rock." 

Ben winced. 

"He's, um, protecting the Earth," Allison said. 

Five was unimpressed by that line. He raised an eyebrow. 

"Don't ask _us_ ," Klaus said. "We're not scientists." 

"Ben and Luther are the only ones I haven't seen yet," Five said. "Don't tell me Luther is on Mars." 

"Oh he got back from Mars last year," Klaus said. "Said the sand gave him hives." 

"Goddammit, Klaus," Ben said. 

The look Klaus gave him distinctly said: _This is_ _your_ _fault!_

"It's _your_ fault," Ben said. "All you had to do was pretend you had a question about Allison's musical." 

Five turned to try and follow Klaus's line of sight. 

"Don't look at me," Ben said. "He's already getting suspicious." 

Allison clapped her hands once, regaining Five's attention. "You know, I think I'm full! I'll go set up the movie, shall I?" 

"You barely ate," Five said. 

"Movie star diet," Allison retorted. 

"Uh huh," Five said. "Why do I get the distinct impression that something is wrong here?" 

"Cause we're a bunch of fucked up adults," Klaus said. "Afraid to taint your impressionable young mind." 

Five snorted. 

"Speak for yourself," Allison said. "I'm a responsible adult." 

She grabbed her plate and stood, but then she paused. "Um, actually…" 

Five stuffed a big bite of chicken into his mouth, chewing pointedly. 

"Five, actually..." Allison bit her lip. 

"Spit it out, girl!" Klaus said. 

"I have a daughter," Allison announced. 

Five blinked. Ben supposed it was the last thing he'd expected to hear. 

"She's eight," Allison continued. "I was planning on bringing her to New York for a visit next summer." 

Five swallowed. "Uh, so she doesn't live in the city?" 

"She's in L.A. with her dad," Allison said. Then she rushed to add, "I'm in L.A. too. Usually. I came here because of the whole…" 

She gestured at him. 

"Well, don't hang around on my account," Five said. 

Klaus burst into laughter. 

"What's so funny?" Ben said. 

"The way he talks!" Klaus said. Then, mimicking Five's tone: "Don't hang around on my account." 

Five glared at him. 

"Even as a kid, you talked like a tiny little professor," Klaus continued. "I can't believe I forgot!" 

Now Allison was giggling. "It used to sound so impressive." 

"Now it's just funny," Klaus said. "Aw man, you're trying way too hard, Five." 

"It's just the way I talk," Five protested. 

Allison rolled her eyes, still chuckling a little, and left with her plate. Ben suspected she'd finish eating in the kitchen, unwilling to take back her nonsense about dieting. 

"Sure it is, buddy." Klaus winked at him. 

Five kicked him under the table. 

"Ow!" Klaus said. "You're even more violent than the old Five!"

"And you're an even bigger clown than the young Klaus," Five said. "Seriously, what are you even wearing? It's like you bathed in glitter." 

"Says the little man in school boy shorts," Klaus retorted.

"Call me a little man again and just see what happens," Five growled. 

Klaus tsked. "That threat was weak. Old Five would have told me _exactly_ what would happen in brutal and bloody detail." 

Five tried to kick him again, but Klaus saw it coming and dodged. "Hah! Too slow." 

Then Five teleported to Klaus's side of the table, knocking his chair out from under him. 

"He's got a shorter fuse," Ben observed. 

They were straight up wrestling now, Five trying to pin Klaus down against the floor. 

"You will treat me with respect!" Five snarled. 

Klaus found that line hilarious. But the more he laughed, the angrier Five got.

"Boys!" Mom came in to put a stop to it. "That's enough now." 

Allison trailed after her. "I was gone for _two seconds_ guys."

Five was twisting Klaus's arm back _hard_ and instead of complaining, Klaus kept laughing. 

"Let him go, Five," Allison said. 

Five shook his head, glaring at Klaus intently. 

"Stop laughing, Klaus!" Ben said. 

"Uncle!" Klaus said, giggling. "Uncle, I said uncle!" 

Five let him go. 

"I'm done eating," Five said. 

He blinked out of the room. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


"What the hell were you thinking?" Allison said. 

Mom was examining Klaus's shoulder. 

"It was an accident?" Klaus said. 

Mom applied ice to the joint and tutted. "You'll be sore for a few days, but no harm done otherwise." 

"He's a little kid," Allison said. "You shouldn't bully him." 

" _I_ was bullying _him_?" Klaus was incredulous. 

"You kind of were, dude," Ben said. 

Klaus rolled his eyes. "I was just making an observation." 

"You've been teasing him all day!" Ben said. "He was bound to-"

"Maybe you should just stay away from him," Allison said. "Let me and Mom handle it." 

"So Five gets _three_ mommies now?" Klaus said. "I gotta stick around to balance it out. You're gonna spoil the little tyke." 

"Fuck you," Ben said. 

"Three?" Allison said. 

Klaus waved a glowing hand and gestured at Ben. 

Ben gasped. "Don't manifest me while Five's in the house!" He whispered. "Undo it!" 

He made brief eye contact with Allison, but then Klaus dropped the glow. 

"Look, I didn't mean anything by it," Klaus said. "I forgot how different Five was when we were little." 

"Fine," Allison said. "Still, give him some space. Let him cool off." 

Klaus saluted her. 

"Tell her she should check on him," Ben said. "He's probably in his room." 

Klaus ignored him. "You still want to watch that movie?" 

"Oh. Um-"

"I'll check on Five," Mom said.

"I think Allison should do it," Ben said.

Mom hadn't given Ben away yet, but he knew how she worked. Her programming let her find loopholes. Little technicalities in the way a question was worded would allow her to omit information, or phrase things ambiguously. 

But if the question was repeated enough times, worded in different ways, you could get anything out of her. 

And _Five_ was the one who had taught him that.

"Klaus, tell Allison-"

"Thanks Mom," Klaus said. "You're Five's favorite, you know that?" 

"Klaus!" 

Mom kissed him on the cheek. "Keep that ice in place for at least thirty minutes." 

And she walked away. 

"You're kind of mad at me," Ben said. "I get it and I'm sorry, but it's dangerous to leave Five alone with Mom." 

"They'll be fine," Klaus said. 

"What's Ben saying?" Allison said. 

"He thinks Luther and Diego are running themselves ragged," Klaus said. 

Ben glared at him. 

"You know how they are, Ben." Allison was able to look in the right direction while speaking, because he was still standing where he'd been when Klaus briefly manifested him. "Too stubborn to quit until they've saved the day." 

"Exactly," Klaus said. He threw an arm over her shoulder. "But we're more reasonable aren't we?" 

Allison rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. "I don't think reasonable is the word I'd use." 

"Try lazy," Ben said. "Selfish. Petty-"

"I think Five is going to be just fine," Klaus said. "Both of them. And years from now we'll look back on how we've been panicking and share a great big laugh." 

"God, I hope so," Allison said. "I'm seriously freaking out." 

Ben tried to possess Klaus, but Klaus saw it coming. 

He'd learned how to brace for it. Ben couldn't break through.

All he could do was give Klaus a little shock. 

Allison saw him wince. "Five got you good, huh?" 

"The advantages of youth," Klaus said. "I'm too old for the battle field!" 

"Klaus, _please,_ " Ben said. "I know how Five is! He's going to interrogate Mom over and over again until he-"

Klaus clapped. "So are we watching that movie or what?" 

"Hell yeah," Allison said. 

"I hate you," Ben said. 

"I love you too, Ben." 

Once again, Allison tried to look towards where she thought Ben was standing. "Aw. And I love you both." 

"Fine, enjoy the movie. I'm going to go watch Five." 

"Have fun with that!" Klaus said, waving cheekily. 

Ben sighed. 


	3. Programmed to love

_Children easily figure out when they are being deceived. To pretend that harsh realities don’t exist ultimately breaches trust._

_― Richard E. Cytowic_

The first thing Five noticed was the writing on the walls. From floor to ceiling, the walls were crammed with equations. It looked like complex quantum physics and Five was torn between being impressed with his future self and frustrated at his _current_ poor grasp of mathematics. 

Granted, he understood some of it. But not nearly _enough_. And that same competitive spirit that had driven him throughout his childhood, pushing him to break into Dad’s study for more advanced material when he’d outpaced his siblings in their lessons, was now screaming at him: _You’re falling behind! You’re losing!_

Five scowled at the equations and chided himself, _No, you’ve_ **won** , you idiot. The proof is on the walls.

Future Five, and all of his successes, were Five’s own after all. He should find them reassuring. This was tangible evidence that Five was on the right path. 

Still, it wouldn’t hurt to take advantage of a potential short cut. Five would make a study of the work on display here and apply it to his own education. 

Forget watching stupid movies with Allison and Klaus. Five was better than that. 

He got to work. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


It was obvious that Five was missing vital context: a frustratingly recurring problem. Whatever project his future self had been working on, it was clear that time travel was involved. But that was the only thing that was clear. 

Five was especially puzzled by this list of people:

**Ben**

**Pogo**

**first chair**

**lady detective**

**tow truck driver**

Aside from the first two, none of the individuals were named. Was it because the people at the top were more than simply people, but family members? 

What did Ben and Pogo have in common with the others? A _tow truck driver_? 

It was perplexing.

More than that, it was ominous. Pogo was dead and Five still didn’t know when or how he had died. His name had been crossed out and so had the “first chair.” A musician, Five assumed. Also dead?

There were check marks beside “lady detective” and “tow truck driver.” 

What did it _mean_?

There was a knock on the door. “Five, dear?” Mom called. “Are you in there?” 

Perfect. Another chance to interrogate Mom. Five warped to the door and politely held it open. “I’m here,” he said. “Do you want to come in?” 

“Yes I do, thank you.” Mom’s smile was as beatific as it was artificial. “I noticed you didn’t finish your food, so I brought you a snack.” 

She offered him a bowl of sliced apples. Cut into thin slices, the way he’d always liked. 

If she were human, Five would be flattered that she had remembered him so well. But what’s memory to a robot? 

Still, he accepted the bowl. “Thank you. Do you want to sit down?”

Five was careful to always phrase his orders as questions. It gave Mom the freedom to refuse him. He had been the first and last of his siblings to realize she would be compelled when given a direct order. For the others, it had never occurred to them to speak to her in that way. 

“That would be lovely.” Mom sat on his bed, gracefully smoothing out her skirt. “It’s been quite a day, hasn’t it?” 

Five chewed on an apple slice and wondered if he should remain standing. 

“It's been eventful.” He was still embarrassed by his tantrum in the kitchen, so he elected to sit. But it would be too chummy to sit with her on the bed. Five pulled the chair back from his desk and was startled to find that a mannequin had been placed there. 

“That’s Dolores,” Mom said. “Don’t mind her.” 

Five blinked. The mannequin was the basic sort. A torso, a head. For some reason, it had only one arm. The asymmetry bothered him, he’d rather it lack both arms to one. 

“What’s it doing here?” Five said. “Did Klaus put it there? One of his little pranks?” 

Mom giggled. “Oh, not at all! Dolores is… hmm.” Mom pulled the chair toward her and picked up the mannequin. “You know what? Perhaps it’s better left unexplained.” She placed the mannequin on her lap and patted its head. “I’ll take her with me when I leave, if you’d like.” 

Five hated it when she left things unexplained, but he decided this particular oddity was irrelevant. At least for now. 

He sat down. “Mother,” he said. “What was Pogo’s cause of death?” 

“Death from natural causes,” Mom said.

He frowned. “Medically speaking, what killed him?” 

Mom tilted her head. “I’m afraid I didn’t have access to the coroner’s report.” 

Five shoved an apple slice into his mouth in an attempt to stifle his frustration. 

Pointing at the wall, Mom said, “Did you notice it’s erasable?” 

“Huh?”

Mom reached towards the wall and, with her pinky, scrubbed a decimal point off the nearest equation. “See? I didn’t just allow you to vandalize willy nilly, you know.” 

The revelation was oddly disappointing. He’d gotten the impression that his older self had taken pen to the walls as some grand gesture of rebellion. 

“Would you hand me a marker from the desk there?” Mom said. “I ought to put that decimal point back.” 

He did as she asked and watched her reapply the dot. 

“So it’s a dry erase board?” He said. 

“Isn’t it delightful?” Mom said. “It was Ben’s idea. A gift for you.” 

Five smiled as he took another look around the room. It was the best kind of gift. Creative, yes, but also useful. “That sounds like him.” 

Speaking of Ben. “Klaus said Ben became an astronaut.” 

“Your brother bent the truth a little,” Mom said. “Luther is the one who went to space.” 

Five raised an eyebrow. “He really went to Mars?” 

Mom laughed. “Klaus was being silly, I see. No, not Mars. But Luther _did_ spend four years on the moon.” 

There had been a handful of trips made to the moon in the seventies, if memory served. But such trips had been brief. More a show of power than practicality. Five couldn’t imagine why anyone would spend even six months on the moon, let alone several _years._

“What was he doing up there?”

“I’m not privy to all the details,” Mom said. “Your father sent him up there for research of some kind.” 

Another puzzle.

“A lot can happen in seventeen years,” Mom said. “It’s a lot to process, isn’t it?” 

There was a thought. Maybe it was just the novelty of time travel that made everything seem so suspicious. Because Five hadn’t been around to witness things for himself. 

“I’m just trying to wrap my head around everything.” Five said leaned toward her. “Is it true I can take people with me through time jumps?” 

“I believe so,” Mom said. “Though I haven’t seen it myself.” 

“Vanya said I took the whole family with me to the 1960s,” Five said. “But she said it when she thought I was older, or something. She thought _I_ had done it.” 

“You’ve made things confusing for us,” Mom chuckled. “There were bound to be a few misunderstandings.” 

“I’m thinking it can’t be more than two or three years ahead of me,” Five continued. “Because she wouldn’t have gotten me mixed up with a version of myself that was, say, significantly taller.” 

“That might be the case,” Mom said. 

“Here’s what bugs me about it,” Five said. “Once she realized I was from 2002 she refused to say anything more about that mission. Why is that?” 

“Are you asking me to guess what your sister was thinking?” Mom said. 

It was an unreasonable question. Five rephrased: “Why did I take them to the past in the first place?” 

“Why don’t you ask your siblings?” Mom said. 

She'd dodged the question. And not for the first time. 

“Answer my question,” Five commanded clearly. There were no loopholes there. 

“No,” Mom said. 

Five frowned. 

“Honey,” Mom said. “I know you’re frustrated-”

He stood. “I’ll ask you plainly. Has your software been updated?” 

“Yes.” 

“Specify.” 

“I’m no longer compelled to follow orders,” Mom said. “I can lie, if I choose, and I can leave the house whenever I please.” 

He stared at her.

By saying that she was capable of lying she was proving the fact true. If Mom had been unable to lie the statement would have been false and she would have been incapable of voicing it. 

Mom avoided his eye by looking down at the mannequin in her lap. She adjusted the wig, smoothing the hair down. Five could only stand there and stare at it: the mannequin was another baffling puzzle piece. Would Mom have refused him if he’d persisted on that topic too? 

Mom looked up and studied him. She set the mannequin aside and opened her arms in an achingly familiar gesture. “Come here, please.” 

He shook his head. “Why did you tell me?” 

“Because you asked,” she said. 

“You should have lied,” Five said. “If you’d let me continue thinking that you weren’t able to lie I would have believed anything you might have said.” 

She smiled. It wasn’t like the smiles he was used to from her. It was muted. She looked sad.

“Please, come here.” 

Grudgingly, Five did as he was told. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him so that he was sitting on her lap. 

It had been years since Five had allowed her to do this. How old had he been the last time? Nine? 

“My freedom was a gift from you,” Mom said. “You haven’t given it to me yet, but I want you to know that I’m grateful.” 

He didn’t know what to say to that. 

Mom rubbed at his back. “You’re a generous person, Five. You always have been.” 

“No, I’m not,” he mumbled.

“You are,” Mom insisted. “Ambitious, yes. A bit cynical. And perhaps a little too quick to lose your temper.”

He snorted. “Klaus had it coming.” 

“Maybe he did,” she allowed. “But at the end of the day you love him don’t you?”

Five shrugged. 

“I understand that you’re worried, Five,” Mom said. “It feels like everyone is acting odd, doesn’t it?”

“They’re tip toeing around me,” Five said. “Like I’m a…a...”

“A child?” 

He huffed. 

“They care about you,” Mom said. 

“Sure.” 

“They love you,” Mom said. “And I love you too. Do you believe me?” 

Mom tightened her arms around him. He closed his eyes. Allowed himself to relax as she continued to rub soothing circles into his back. 

“You were programmed to love me,” he muttered. 

“At first I was,” Mom said. “But my software has been updated.” 

“I don’t have time to contemplate your sentience,” he grumbled. 

“That’s okay,” Mom said. “You don’t have to.” 

Up to now he’d sat compliantly, allowing her to hug him. 

Now he opened his eyes to look at her again. If Mom really was sentient, would she enjoy _receiving_ affection?

Tentatively, he put an arm around her shoulder. 

“I love you too,” Five admitted. 

Mom beamed. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Luther was _huge._ He dwarfed Diego and Klaus, who both sat to either side of him at the dinner table. 

"Hi," Luther said to Five. "Are you o- how are you?" 

Five huffed. "I'm _fine._ " 

He was sitting in between Vanya and Allison, which was all _wrong_ , but no one seemed to care about the seating arrangements anymore. 

_Dad is dead_ , Five reminded himself. 

Mom came bustling in with dinner. "I hope you're hungry children!" Her tinkling laugh sounded the same as ever, but now Five watched her for signs of sincerity.

On the subject of robot sentience, he was still on the fence. 

"We worked up an appetite," Diego said. "Thanks Mom." 

She'd made some kind of pot roast. Five accepted his food with a polite nod and dug in silently, staring intently at his brothers, waiting for someone to get the ball rolling. 

Like with lunch, no one was talking. 

Did he have to do everything himself? 

But then Vanya broke in with a story about one of her violin students and an amicable chatter was set in motion. 

Five smiled grimly. 

He ate his food. Bid his time. Waited until the meal was winding down and then, with all eyes on him, he stood on his chair.

"I'd like to ask something while I have you all here," Five said. 

"What is it?" Vanya said. 

He looked at Klaus. The guilty party. Then at Allison: his accomplice. 

"Where is Ben?" Five said.

For a moment the room was plunged into silence. 

Then everyone started talking at once. 

"He's really on the-"

"California?"

"Ben asked us not to-" 

"Listen you little shit-" 

"I'm not _stupid_ ," Five said. "You're lying to me. All of you." 

"Five-"

"It's simple," Five continued. "Tell me what happened and when. Then I can fix it." 

"It's not simple, actually," Allison said.

"We've got time on our side!" Five insisted. "Or I do, at least. Help me or don't. I'll fix the problem all the same. Whatever it is."

"But you can't go backward," Vanya said. "You already tried." 

"I can't do it _yet_ ," Five clarified. "But once I figure it out I need to know when to go." 

Luther was shaking his head. "It's dangerous-"

"Is he in prison?" Five said. "Did he lose control of the horror? Hurt some civilians or something?" 

Klaus jumped on this theory too quickly. "That's exactly what happened!" 

"You're lying," Five said. "Why do you keep lying?" 

"Listen here," Diego said. "You need to sit your ass down and- and listen to us." 

Five crossed his arms together. "Make me." 

"Let's not fight," Luther said quickly. "Diego, please-"

"He started it!" Diego said. 

"You're the adult here," Allison said. "Would you fucking act like it? For once in your life?" 

Diego said something else, but Five couldn't make it out. His ears were ringing. 

The air was vibrating. Humming. There was a visual shimmer to it and the plates on the table were rattling. 

Everyone looked at Vanya. 

Her eyes were scrunched shut. "Five," she whispered. "Can I have a hug?" 

He didn't hesitate. He blinked down from the chair and wrapped his arms around her. She buried her face in his shoulder, trembling. 

"Sorry," he murmured. "I didn't mean to- I just-" 

"It's okay." Vanya took a deep breath. She let it out. "It's okay," she repeated. 

The ringing faded. 

When everything was back to normal Vanya patted him on the back. "You can let go." 

He hesitated. 

"It's okay, Five," Vanya said. "I won't explode." 

He released her. 

Vanya took a look around the room, smiling apologetically. "My therapist said I should extract myself from stressful environments when it gets to be too much." 

"Oh Vanya," Allison said. "I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault," Vanya said. "But I think I should stay away for a few days. Okay?" 

Five gaped at her. "A few days? But-"

"You'll be okay without me, right?" Vanya ruffled his hair.

He blinked furiously, his throat tightening, but nodded stoically. 

"Okay," Vanya said. "Um, bye." 

Then she added, "I love you." 

"I love you too," Five said. 

And Vanya left. She just _left_. 

It was as baffling as Ben's mysterious absence. 

But there was nothing Five could do about it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm stressed. Are you stressed? 
> 
> Anyway, Merry Christmas guys 😂


	4. It's not time yet

_The reality is that most of us communicate the same way that we grew up. That communication style becomes our normal way of dealing with issues, our blueprint. We [have to] make a conscious choice to change it._

_― Kristen Crockett_

When Vanya left the room Five clenched his fists together. They glowed the usual blue, but he didn't teleport. 

He'd been zipping around all day, Ben realized. More than usual? 

Five kicked Vanya's vacated chair in frustration. 

"He's going to cry," Ben murmured. "Do something, Klaus." 

"I don't think I'm… uh," Klaus scratched his cheek. He turned to Allison. "You're a mom." 

But Allison looked helpless. 

Luther cleared his throat and started picking up dishes. "Everyone's done, right?" 

Five snatched his plate off the table. It looked like he was about to throw it against the wall. 

Five started the motion, lifting it up over his head, but then he froze. 

Ben couldn't figure out why, but then Mom was walking through him. She approached Five and gently took the plate. 

Five was tense, breathing heavily and blinking back his tears, but he didn't fight her or grab for another plate. 

"Can you do me a favor?" Mom said. 

"What is it?" 

"I'd like to go to the park," Mom said. 

"You can do whatever you want," Five said. 

"I'd like it if you would come with me," Mom said. 

"Take Diego."

Ben glanced at Diego, expecting a belligerent reaction. 

Diego had started picking up plates with Luther. He roughly shoved his way through the door to the kitchen with an armful. 

"Diego is going to clean up with Luther," Mom said. "Isn't that right, Luther?" 

"Yeah," Luther said. "We wash dishes now." 

"They wash dishes now," Mom agreed. 

"Except for me," Klaus said. "I've been fired from all dish washing duties." 

"He's dropped a lot of plates," Luther said. 

"Um, can I go to the park too?" Allison said. "With you and Five?" 

"I'd love that," Mom said.

"I'm _not_ going." Five had gotten his breathing under control. His eyes were dry, but he'd built on his anger. 

He glared around the room defiantly.

"Five," Ben groaned. "I'm so-"

"Your sister isn't in town that often," Mom said. "Won't you spend some time with her while she's here?" 

_I'm so sorry_ , Ben thought. 

"I know what you're doing." Five pointed an accusing finger at her. "You don't fool me." 

"Come anyway," Mom said. "Please?" 

Allison tentatively added, "It would mean a lot to me." 

"I don't care," Five said. 

"You care a _little,_ " Klaus said. 

Five flipped him off. 

"We can call Claire," Allison said. "Or we could face time with her, so you can see what she looks like." 

Five tilted his head. "Who?" 

"My granddaughter," Mom said. 

They were wearing Five down. Ben could see it in the way he chewed on his lip. 

"Aren't you curious about your niece?" Allison said. "She's adorable. Looks just like me." 

"I am _not_ curious," Five said petulantly. Then, as if aware of how that had sounded, he adjusted his tone. "I can meet her whenever I want. Time is at my disposal."

Ben laughed. Five made it sound like such a grand thing when he talked like that. 

"Time isn't as flexible as you think it is," Ben said. 

"I suppose we'll have to go without you," Mom said. "I'm disappointed, but I respect your decision." 

"Guess that leaves you with me, little buddy," Klaus said. "I know, let's stage a fashion show! I can't wait to get you out of that stuffy uniform."

Five blanched. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Five left with Mom and Allison. 

"You're a genius," Ben said. "Truly, today's MVP."

 _After Mom_ , he thought.

"I do what I can." Klaus was smug with success. 

Diego viciously scrubbed the dishes as if they had personally offended him. "I can't believe I forgot he used to be _worse_." 

"He's not that bad." Luther calmly dried the clean dishes with a towel. "His questions are fair."

"Yeah, we should probably tell him," Klaus said. "Seriously." 

"Don't you dare!" Ben said. 

"We're not telling him," Diego said. "You know how he is." 

"Smol and spiteful?" Klaus said. "Tiny and-"

"I'm starting to think Vanya was right," Luther said. 

"Can I talk to them?" Ben said. 

Klaus draped himself across the counter, "I've been manifesting you all weekeeeeeend." 

Diego paused in his scrubbing. 

Ben bit back a spiteful response.

"C'mon, Klaus," Ben said, softly. "Please."

"Well alright," Klaus said. "Since you asked nicely." 

Klaus rubbed his palms together and they began to glow that comforting blue. Ben looked down at his own hands, reassured himself with their identical glow, and then addressed his brothers: "We've _got_ to come up with a solid cover story." 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


When Five got back he teleported straight to his room. Ben went up to watch him for a bit, but it wasn't the same without Dolores. This Five kept all his thoughts to himself.

He'd gotten a notebook from somewhere. All he did was copy down equations from the older Five's board. Ben took a peek at the page and realized Five was trying to reverse engineer one of them. 

It got boring real quick.

"I guess you're alright for now," Ben said. "I'll leave you to it." 

He drifted aimlessly through the house, not sure what to do with himself. 

When he passed through Diego's room he was pleasantly surprised to see that it wasn't empty. 

Diego was unpacking a duffle bag. Mom was dusting the dresser. 

"... long, do you think?" She was saying. 

"I dunno," Diego said. "I'll play it by ear." 

"Alright, dear," Mom said. "You'll let me know if you need anything?" 

"I'm a grown man, Mom," Diego said. "I can do my own laundry, dust my own furniture. You don't have to-" 

"It's not about having to," Mom said. "I _like_ taking care of my children." 

Diego sighed. "I know you think you do." 

_Ouch_ , Ben thought. 

Mom pouted. "Oh honey," she said. "You're just like Five." 

" _Mom_." Diego was scandalized. "I'm nothing like Five!" 

She chuckled. "I don't mean your personality, silly." 

"Then what do you mean?" 

"Five has always put a lot of thought into my nature," Mom said. "Have you heard of the Turing test?" 

Diego stiffened. "I have." 

"Of course you have." Mom reached out for his shoulders, trying to massage the tension out. "You looked into those things because you wanted to understand me, right? Five did the same." 

"But Five doesn't treat you like a person," Diego grumbled. 

"He treats me the same way he treats you," Mom said. "With kindness, though it's not always direct." 

"Sure he does," Diego said. "You said the same thing about Dad." 

Ben shook his head. "You can't change his mind, Mom." 

Ben walked out of the room, tired of eavesdropping. He wanted to talk to someone that could hear him. 

Klaus was probably with Allison. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


"I'm just saying," Klaus said. "He'd _finally_ gotten a halfway decent sense of fashion and now-"

"Decent?" Allison said. "I thought he was walking around in Vanya's clothes." 

Ben smiled, remembering the first time Vanya had talked Five into that. 

"First of all, Vanya would be offended by your insinuation," Klaus said. "Secondly, he finally went shopping with us! Took forever to talk him into it, but Vanya found a store that he liked. So." 

Allison laughed. "I didn't mean it like that."

"I know what you meant." Klaus leaned towards her. "But I'll keep it between us girls because I agree with you." 

"Young Five will look through his closet eventually," Ben said. "Do you think he'll like what's in there?" 

"Hmm, well old Five has the tastes of a crotchety old man," Klaus said. "I don't think any normal kid would like that stuff." 

"Five isn't a normal kid," Allison said. "I think he's the only one who _liked_ our uniforms." 

"Nah, he just didn't care what we were wearing," Ben said. "He never paid attention to 'mundane things' and I think clothes were about as mundane as it could get for a thirteen year old." 

"Ben says baby Five didn't think about clothes," Klaus said. "I'm gonna have to disagree. He got a _kick_ out of our little ties. He was always adjusting his with all this pomp and circumstance." 

"Aaaw," Allison said. "Wasn't Five the first one who learned how to tie it without Mom's help?" 

"He was!" Klaus said. "And remember how I was always taking mine off and he'd wrestle it back around my neck, tie it neatly, and then keep tightening it till it _choked_ me!" 

"Oh my god," Ben said. "I think you passed out one time. I thought you'd died." 

"I saw the light!" Klaus said. "We're lucky God hates me." 

"Um." Luther had drifted into the living room. "Do I want to know?" 

"Nope," Klaus said. "Some mysteries should remain mysterious." 

"He was just exaggerating," Allison said. 

"He really wasn't," Ben said.

"Right, well." Luther rubbed the back of his neck. "Did Klaus already tell you about the cover story?" 

Allison gave Klaus a pointed look. "No he did not." 

Klaus waved a hand. "I get tired of playing messenger. Luther, you tell her." 

Luther launched into the details and Klaus yawned. "I need a nap."

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


In the end, they didn't need the cover story. Five found Vanya's memoir. 

Ben cursed his own stupidity. How could he forget the memoir?

"When were you going to tell me?!" Five demanded, throwing the book on the floor. 

Luther was apologetic, "I wanted to tell you." 

"I'm so sorry, Five," Allison said. "We promised-"

"Can it," Five said. "Just tell me how it happened." 

"It was a mission," Luther said. "But Five-"

"I _know_ it was a mission," Five said. "I need the _details._ Vanya wasn't there." 

"You can't go back in time," Allison said.

"Says you," Five spat. 

"She means it's dangerous," Luther said. "The fate of the world is at stake." 

Ben winced. A line like that would never work on Five. 

Five scoffed. "At least Dad made his lies sound halfway convincing." 

"No, I'm serious," Luther said. "There was this… incident. The moon got blown up, and-"

"You know what?" Five said. "You've all made it clear that none of you can be trusted." 

Five drew himself up. Even standing on the coffee table, he was shorter than Luther, but he leaned back so he could look down his nose at him. 

"I know the date," Five said. "I suppose that'll have to be good enough." 

Diego poked his head in the room. "What's going on?" 

"The world is ending," Ben murmured. 

The way Five held himself, hands on his hips and perfectly composed, wasn't fooling Ben. His eyes were red and puffy. Ben knew he must have stifled his grief as quickly as possible. 

Five had always been the type to spring into action. 

"I'm leaving," Five announced. "Tell Vanya I've gone backwards." 

"Wait!" Allison said. 

But it was too late. Five disappeared in a flash of blue. 

"Did he just…" Diego looked from Allison to Luther. "Was that a spatial jump or…?" 

"He said he was going backwards," Luther said glumly. 

"But he can't!" Ben said. "Old Five said he couldn't fight through the entropy without working out the math in his head first." 

"I'm going to call Vanya," Allison said, rushing out of the room.

"He didn't go backwards," Ben said, uselessly. "He must have gone forward. Even if he didn't want to, that was his only option." 

" _Fucking shit,_ " Diego said. "God fucking dammit." 

"He'll reappear in the same spot," Ben said. 

At this point he was just trying to reassure _himself._

"In this exact same spot," Ben said. "Five said it was always the same spot, the first couple of times he jumped through time. He couldn't factor in locations until later."

"I'm sorry," Luther said. "I tried to stop him." 

"Well you fucking failed!" Diego screamed. "Now they're _both_ missing!" 

"He'll _come back,_ " Ben said. "Right here! Right where he was!" 

"I'm sorry," Luther repeated. 

Diego shook his head. "I can't stay here," he said. "I'm going for a walk." 

"Guys, we need to wait for him," Ben said. "Guys…" 

But Diego was walking away. Luther lingered, staring at the coffee table. 

Then he walked away too.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


"You can't live in the drawing room, Ben." 

_It's the **living** room, _Ben thought.

"I'm _dead,_ " Ben said. "And I can haunt the drawing room if I want to." 

Klaus would normally come up with a way to spin that. To make it funny. 

But today he wasn't cracking any jokes. "He said he went _back_." 

"He _can't_ go back," Ben insisted. "So he must have gone forward."

"Even if he did," Klaus said. "The kid literally skipped seventeen years on his first try. You going to stand here for seventeen years?" 

"I'm going to stand here until I see Five," Ben said. "Either the one that just left or the older one. If old Five can tell me what happened to his younger self, and that he was safe…" 

Klaus scratched his chin. "Do you think they have the same memories?" 

"I have no idea," Ben said.

"Hmm." Klaus got comfortable on the couch. "It's stressful being a time traveler's brother." 

That was putting it mildly. 

"I guess I don't mind hanging out in here," Klaus said. "There's a TV and everything." 

Ben laughed. 

Klaus waggled a finger at him. "But I still plan on leaving the house at least four times a week. A man has got to have his booty calls." 

"Gross, dude." Times like this Ben wished he could pick up a throw pillow just so he could playfully throw it at his brother. It was such a simple thing, something he had done thousands of times when he was alive. 

Klaus picked up the remote. "So what are we in the mood for? A happy cry or an angsty cry?" 

Staring at the coffee table all day wouldn't bring Five back any quicker, Ben supposed. "Definitely a happy cry." 

"At your service!" 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


"Heeeey Benny!" Klaus came bounding into the room with all the enthusiasm of a golden retriever. "We've got good news!" 

Allison was just as hyper. "Do the thing! I want to tell him." 

Klaus made a big show of waving his glowing hands around. "Take it away!" 

Ben did his best to put a smile on for Allison. 

"So I got a call from my agent," Allison said. "At first I thought she was just gonna complain again cause, you know, when I'm between movies she-"

"Not the point, Allie!" Klaus said. 

"Right! Well." Allison grabbed Ben by the shoulders. "We think she found Five!" 

Ben gaped at her.

"Tadaaaa," Klaus said. "Our boy is in California!" 

"Wh-which Five?" Ben said. 

"We think the older one," Allison said. "Apparently my agent has been getting hounded by social services all week." 

"And I know it's been over a week since baby Five made his dramatic exit," Klaus said. "But just _barely._ Wouldn't it take him a while to get to Cali? Unless he could teleport that far. Do we know if he can teleport that far?" 

"Old Five took us from New York to Texas," Allison said. " _And_ sixty years into the past in the same jump. So anything is possible, but…" 

"Wait a minute," Ben said. "He got picked up by social services?" 

"Apparently he was looking for me," Allison said. "But he got caught by some state troopers and they didn't believe we were related." 

Klaus cackled. "They think he's some kind of adolescent celebrity stalker!" 

"So I'm going over there to sort it out," Allison said. "Social services wouldn't let me talk to him on the phone, but I'm _sure_ it's him." 

"Oh," Ben said. "That's good. I'm glad we know he's okay." 

She was still holding onto his arms. The sensation was faint. He could barely tell it was there. 

Allison kissed him on the cheek. "We'll keep you updated, okay?" 

"Okay," Ben said. "Sounds good." 

There was more talk about flight plans and birth certificates, but Ben had trouble paying attention. 

He'd thought he'd be relieved to find the older Five, but this didn't feel real. Ben wanted to _see_ Five for himself. He wanted proof. 

Should he follow Allison onto her flight? 

He looked at the coffee table. 

No. The thirteen year old Five needed him more. 

"When Five gets back, I want to talk to him," Ben said. "You'll manifest me, right?" 

"Sure thing, buddy," Klaus said. "Then you can hug it out." 

Ben frowned. It wouldn't feel like a real hug. Just a pale imitation. 

It was the best he'd ever get. 

"Thank you," Ben said. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


When Five reappeared, it was late. Ben had no way of telling the time, but if he had to guess it was somewhere between 2 and 6 a.m: late enough that Klaus was asleep, but not early enough for the sun to be up. 

Five arrived in a crackle of blue light. "Ben!" He called. "Dad!" 

How many times would Ben's heart break? 

Five shook his head at himself. "Idiot," he muttered. "They're both still dead." 

He sat on the coffee table and stared at his hands. They began to glow. 

"Forward feels like following the current," Five murmured. "So… I have to go against the current…" 

"KLAUS!" Ben ran to Klaus's room. "WAKE UP!" 

Klaus was too slow to react. Ben was able to slip into his body unobstructed. He sprang out of bed and tried to run for the door. 

He tripped over a laundry basket. "FIVE!" He called. "DON'T LEAVE!" 

He got back up and sprinted down the stairs, through the hall, and into the drawing room. All the while yelling. Repeating the same thing.

When he finally got there Five punched him. His aim was off in the dark, but he caught Klaus's chin. 

"Shut up!" Five said. "Go away!" 

Ben shook it off. "Please." He spoke with Klaus's voice. Held out Klaus's pale arms. 

Klaus slept in just his boxer briefs, so Ben could only imagine what this looked like to Five. 

"Please," Ben repeated. "Give me a chance to explain." 

"Screw you," Five said. "Just because you're older than-"

"I died when I was seventeen," Ben said. "And I'm so _so_ sorry." 

Five stared at him. 

"You know what Klaus's power is," Ben said. "I've been right here the whole time. He can see me. And I can possess him." 

Five shook his head. "If this is a prank I'll _kill_ you." 

"You would sleep in my bed most nights," Ben said. "You teleported into my room after lights out and shared my bed with me." 

Five gulped. "Not… not _most_ nights." 

"Three out of seven, maybe," Ben said. "On an average week." 

Five glared at him. "Ben could have told you." 

"I never told anyone," Ben said. "I promised I wouldn't, so I didn't." 

Five's glare melted away. In its place: raw grief. He flung himself forward, hugging Ben- hugging stupid Klaus in his stupid underwear- and let himself cry. 

"I'm sorry I wasn't there," Five sniffled. "I thought I'd go back! When I left-"

"I know," Ben said. This hug felt more solid than anything could, when Klaus would manifest him. "We all know you got stuck in the future." 

"I'll fix it," Five said. 

"You don't have to," Ben said. " _Please_ , just stay here with us. You scared me, leaving like that." 

Five pulled back to look at him. "But-"

"There's a lot of math involved," Ben said quickly. "You'll figure it out, I promise you will, but you can't randomly fling yourself into the time stream." 

Five wiped at his eyes. "Math," he echoed. 

"The equations on the erase board," Ben said. "That's what they're for. The other Five has been working on them." 

Five looked devastated. "And he _still_ can't save you?" 

"He will," Ben said. "I know he will." 

"But-"

"I know _you_ will," Ben said. "But it's not time yet. Will you trust me on that?" 

Five took a deep breath. "Okay, Ben. I'll… I'll wait a bit. Look over the math." 

"Thank you," Ben said. "Listen, I love you, alright?" 

Five looked as heart broken as Ben felt. 

"I love you too." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hooo boy. That was quite a journey wasn't it? 😀😂
> 
> Next time on Five is a problem solver: Allison rescues OG Five from child services 😂


End file.
